If you scan through photos of Gatito over the years, it’s rare to find one where he’s smiling. It’s not that he’s unhappy or that he isn’t having fun, he’s just not a natural smiler. As a baby, people always commented on how serious he was. And even though he is plenty silly now, he’s still kind of serious.
If you scan through photos of Ella, it’s rare to find one where she’s *not* smiling. Especically in iPhone pics, thanks to my Paul Frank case, I think. Everyone who meets her comments on how happy she is, and she truly is unflappable.
Eight months on, Gatito still thinks she’s kind of gross. And it’s hard to deny that. Her diapers leak almost every single time she poops. (HELLLLP! MEEEEE! I have a closet full of every single brand! I’ve gone up a size! Down a size! What do I do?!) She drools constantly (as did he). She spits up frequently (though a lot less often the last month). He thinks her pureed food is disgusting. Everything she gets her hands on go straight into her mouth.
I can count the number of times he has physically touched her. I’m pretty sure I have pictures of both times. I mean, that’s only a slight exaggeration. She turns the full force of her brilliant smile on him frequently, and is met with him hiding or scowling or turning away.
And yet. He is certainly never aggressive with her. A few times, when I’ve been alone with both of them lately, he’s been willing to play with her. I asked if he wanted to get in the bath with her and was shocked when he said yes, then ran around grabbing toys for her and hopped right in. And did it again the next night. And I’ve “caught” him playing with her in the back seat of the car, or when I’ve stepped out of the room. I have this one picture where she’s totally out of focus, but he’s looking adoringly at her.
So I know it’s in there somewhere, that brotherly affection for his baby sister. And I know it might grow over time, as she gets big enough to play. (Today I convinced him what a super fun game it is to pick up her toys every time she drops them. Woot!) But I wonder what she’ll think, what he’ll think, when they’re a little older and there’s no pictures of him holding her in the hospital, of feeding her a bottle, etc., etc. And I wonder how indicative it really is of their future relationship. I just feel like the fact that he’s a boy and nearly four years older and the fact that he’s so much like his dad is going to make him into a stern older brother as they grow up. I certainly know that I can’t force it, but I think it’s kind of sad.
Oh, I wish my older left my younger alone – it is a never ending battle with them. Eventually your two will be fighting, playing, fighting, etc…and you will go insane like the rest of us!
Haha. I know it has its advantages!
Sent from my iPhone
That is too bad that they aren’t closer now, though it sounds like there’s some hope as they get older.
I get the sense, watching A. with other babies, that if we’re ever lucky enough to have another, he will be similarly indifferent. It’s not the end of the world, though it’s definitely sad, in its own way.
It’s definitely not the end of the world. But it’s one of the reasons I always think it’s silly when people want to have more children soley for the sake of their existing. There is just no knowing whether that relationship, in childhood or adulthood, will be good, bad, or indifferent.
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Maybe it’s just that she doesn’t do anything interesting yet? With a thoughtful boy like Gatito, I could imagine him liking her a lot more when she can talk and he can teach her things. A and Boo have become much better buddies since he started talking more.
Could be. I sure hope so.
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My data point is: May ignored and/or tormented August until August was almost 1, and then they started to get an enormous kick out of each other. We have a similar serious/silly personality split going on here, too. My personal belief is that babies are not that interesting. Maybe our smart preschoolers agree
I could see G getting a kick out of E (from the safe remove of an older brother) when she gets moving and talking. I hope.
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My son was much more interested in my daughter after she could move around and do “stuff.” They have their moments–hugs, kisses, genuine affection–but then there are also the times when they are trying to beat the cr*p out of one another. Times like those, I would prefer indifference….
I also think that babies are more fun once they are more mobile, talking and playful. I don’t doubt a lot of kids feel that way, too. It’s probably way to soon to tell what their future relationship will be like.
My brother was 6 years older than me, and though not completely serious, definitely older and thoughtful. And I idolized him. And he watched out for me. I’ll bet their different personalities will really compliment each other as they get older.
Re: diapers – have you considered cloth? I had a great experience, and leaks were very, very rare. LMK if you ever want to hear way too much about cloth =)