Gatito is starting preschool in a few weeks. This will be the first time in his life that he will not be receiving one on one care from a parent or nanny or grandparent.
He knows he is going to school, knows the name of his teacher and that she is nice, and has been having playdates with several if his classmates fir months.
I have told him several times, without making a big thing about it that Tata will take him there (mommy on the first day) and pick him up when school is over, but I don’t think he really understands. I don’t want to create anxiety where there currently is none, but nor do I want him to be surprised on the first day.
Suggestions?
Our son is the same age as yours and has been in preschool for a year. It was a pretty easy adjustment for him and for a while he wanted to go seven days a week. But one trick our center used during the first week, when there was some nervousness and wailing, was having him “push mommy out the door!” Actually he still likes to do this. (Note: Initially it can be a little distressing to be gleefully shoved out, much as we were depressed for a while about being told that he didn’t want to stay home with us on weekends. C’est la vie.)
Our school makes a little picture book for the kids showing a picture for who will drop them off and pick them up and pictures for what they will do and see during the day. Reading this with them helps them go over the facts of what is to come at different parts of the day and when they see the different play areas, they recognize them.
I’m not sure there is a lot you can do beyond what you’ve done for the very first day … in my experience the first day is so exciting that there is not a lot of crying going on. Sometimes that comes a few days later — and sometimes not at all. See how it goes and then develop strategies …
You could tell him throughout the day ‘Now you’ll be having your lunch at school’ and ‘Now you’ll be playing outside’ and then…’Now is the time when Tata picks you up!’
My son really adjusted with little problem. My daughter still goes all stiff-and-shy a year later. The day care has a little stepstool so they can (if need be) see out into the parking lot and wave goodbye.
Some mornings I’m waving goodbye to an empty window. Whatever makes her feel good!
Their mantra at Mimi’s school is “Mommies and daddies always come back”, and they also have a picture up of each kid’s family in the classroom – even Frankie has pictures of us he can see at eye level.
Mimi asks every morning who will come pick her up, and asks every night who will be taking her to school. She knows it’s me 99% of the time, but she finds it very reassuring to have that conversation, and we have it every day. I think you’re doing a good amount of preparation. The school is probably experienced in transition. Did you find if anyone else is picked up by a caregiver?
Ainsley’s school also has family pictures up, which they refer to and discuss. They even “get to know” who everyone’s Daddy, Mommy, sitter is. For us, we went through phases where drop-off was harder, but it was when she was younger than Gatito. Waving goodbye at the window, blowing kisses, and discussing what you will do together in the evening AFTER school always helps us.
With Smacky’s history of transition anxiety we thought for sure the first day of school would be a disaster. It was the opposite – he walked into the classroom like he owned the place. Teachers usually know how to deal with this stuff very well. I think what you’re doing is perfect – talk it out a lot and give him details beforehand. Our school does the family picture thing too – if yours doesn’t, you can tape one on the flap of his backpack, so he knows you’re “there” even when you’re not.