I think the most exhausting part about trying to conceive this time around is that every single month at about this time, I start to feel ambivalent about whether or not I even want a second child. Then I have to go through all the soul-searching and decide, still a bit ambivalently, to try as ovulation approaches. For the next week plus, I’m basically complacent. As the two week wait comes to an end, I get antsy enough to invent symptoms. When I get my period, I’m sad, even a little depressed for a couple of days. Then, for the next two weeks, I mostly forget about everything and live my life until days before ovulation, when I begin again.
I sort of thought that after last month, I was sure enough about what I wanted to eliminate the soul-searching part of the cycle, but apparently not. These past few days I’ve been so conscious of how much I enjoy my relationship with Gatito, and how worn out moms of more than one kid seem, and how we’re just on the cusp of being able to do things like go skiing with him this winter– something that would be set back several years by having another child– or perhaps forever, based on the financial constraints inherent in a second child. Then I think that parenting Gatito is such a delight that I want only to extend my years of parenting young children by having a second.
Or maybe it’s just that I fell in love with this bag over the weekend and promised it to myself as a consolation prize if I do not get pregnant this month. It is a gorgeous plum color in person and I hear plum is really in for Fall.
Is this my part of my usual self-protection or could I really want a bag more than I want another child?
I understand that feeling. Only its the 3rd child I am at. We are not trying, but every month- right around my period, I talk myself into symptoms that are silly.
But then, I look at my lovely nearly 3 year old daughter and think… “Why do I want another just right now?” and “Do I really want another?”
Oh, and that bag? I love it, the color, the style. Perfect.
*shrug* I dunno. But I do know I love that bag!!!
LOVE that bag…I think you should get it now, just because it’s fabulous and so are you.
LOVE the bag! Who makes it?
I’m thinking you probably want both =)
Very cute bag. But the diaper bags are even cuter now than they were 3 years ago …
I had the same back and forth about it, and after all was said and done, I really don’t want another one. We decided to table the issue for a year, and then revisit the issue. As you know, logical arguments don’t work, it really comes down to how you guys feel about it.
Love that bag. You should get it for yourself no matter what.
I also have that feeling all the time now — but about a 3rd. We aren’t trying — yet– and I’m not sure if we will be but I list off the pros and cons to myself in my head just about every single day!
I say you deserve the bag for the ups and downs of the last few months.
That bag is the bomb.
I had the same type of consolations. I remember I made a list of things I was going to do if my last pregnancy didn’t cut muster. I was glad that I never got a chance to do anything on the list. I hope that you don’t get a chance, either (for all the right reasons.)