It would have been 199 if it weren’t for the Froot Loops February 15, 2008

Beta at 299 today, so we’re getting there.

Good gawd, people, what would I do without you? I can’t believe that with everything I’ve learned about reproduction over the past four years, I didn’t know that one’s ovaries do not neatly take turns ovulating every other month. This is just like when I learned halfway through my pregnancy with Gatito that it’s the cervix that dilates, not the vaginal opening. Talk about ignorant!

I was trying to figure out why this made me re-consider the plan, other than the inconvenience of missing work every month until I conceive, rather than just the first. I think the issue is that I’m worried that this information will force me to wait longer to try to conceive and at the moment I’m ready to just get on with it as soon as possible. But that’s stupid if waiting an extra month will avoid an ectopic. Health risks aside, this ectopic will end up costing me 3-4 months, which is (probably) longer than waiting to ovulate on my right side. I know I can’t control everything, but I like to control what I can so I don’t have regrets. I guess I have at least a couple of months to decide.

I’ve been so happy for the past two years, after Gatito was born and before I was ready to think about another child, and I hate being back on this roller coaster. I’m really not miserable the way I was after the first miscarriage, but I’m just a little stressed about the future. And even though I know I’ve been through nothing compared with many of you, I will not be one bit sorry when the reproductive stage of my life is over.