Two friends have announced pregnancies in the past few weeks. One whose first child was born a week before Gatito, and one who is about a year younger. Ugh, I hate those pangs of jealousy. Weird to have them when I haven’t even started trying yet.
I am starting to track my cycle for the upcoming IUI,. I had this whole spreadsheet from the last time and I just plugged in the first month of data (day 1 + LH surge from the OPK) and it spat out projected surges for the next four months, along with the first days on which I could take an HPT each month and expected due date. Ugh. I was too organized.
I am debating doing this thing at the end of March vs. end of April and all this stupid shit is running around in my mind. Stupid because it’s not like I can really choose whether I actually conceive and carry to term. Not to mention that it’s silly to worry about a December vs. January due date, which would make the child oldest vs. youngest in school; and three vs. four school years apart from Gatito; and other crazy stuff when we all know the only important thing is a healthy child.
I also keep getting struck by the thought that either decision will result in a completely different child being created, assuming any child at all is created, of course, and whoa, that’s kind of weird to think about, you know?
