I’m not usually a resolutions kind of gal, but I have two for 2008:
1. Speak Spanish as exclusively as possible with Tata.
2. Stop reading blogs and doing other personal stuff at work so I can focus on doing a great job efficiently. (Don’t worry, Lilac, I’ll never give up IM!)
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Had my repeat pap this morning. Should hear in the next 1-2 weeks. Fingers crossed.
Two friends have announced pregnancies in the past few weeks. One whose first child was born a week before Gatito, and one who is about a year younger. Ugh, I hate those pangs of jealousy. Weird to have them when I haven’t even started trying yet.
I am starting to track my cycle for the upcoming IUI,. I had this whole spreadsheet from the last time and I just plugged in the first month of data (day 1 + LH surge from the OPK) and it spat out projected surges for the next four months, along with the first days on which I could take an HPT each month and expected due date. Ugh. I was too organized.
I am debating doing this thing at the end of March vs. end of April and all this stupid shit is running around in my mind. Stupid because it’s not like I can really choose whether I actually conceive and carry to term. Not to mention that it’s silly to worry about a December vs. January due date, which would make the child oldest vs. youngest in school; and three vs. four school years apart from Gatito; and other crazy stuff when we all know the only important thing is a healthy child.
I also keep getting struck by the thought that either decision will result in a completely different child being created, assuming any child at all is created, of course, and whoa, that’s kind of weird to think about, you know?
That would be… a saxoflute. I’m just saying.
Lots of other lovely gifts and family time, though. I even got not one, but two of the laptop lunchboxes I have been coveting since Moxie wrote about them. The extra is going to my sister who is passing on the most unbelievable Thomas set you ever did see in a private home… now we just have to find a place to put it. I’m grateful that we have a teeny tiny playroom because it kind of keeps things from getting out of control.
I’m also not too sorry to see the back end of two months straight of presents for Gatito. Starting with his birthday on November 2 and including a variety of celebrations for both Christmas and Chanukah, we worked out that he received presents on at least 14 days out of the past seven weeks. Many, many, many of the gifts, probably more than half, were books, which is nice for us, too, to have something new to read, but still.
Lots of stuff to write about, but the first post after a long-ish break is always the toughest. Back soon. And if I don’t talk to you before… happy new year!
With two weeks to get used to the idea, I’m getting pretty excited about moving on. There are a lot of people that I will miss at my company, but I was being paid so far below my market value (largely because I graduated into a disastrous job market in 2003) that I knew I would have to go eventually.
So I turned in my laptop and my ID and my corporate card on Thursday and took my leave. Now I’m two days into 17 glorious days of Gatito before it’s back to the salt mines! One minor gripe is that it would have been nice to have the time off during an ordinary week, when I could do the regular things like go to library story time and swim class. Of course, time off over the holidays is great, too, but I don’t feel I quite get to pretend that I’m a SAHM for a bit.
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We saw Juno tonight and I cried at so many parts for the pregnant teenager, for the potential adoptive parents. It was sad and very well done. I really thought Jennifer Garner gave a much more nuanced performance than I would have thought her capable of doing. In particular, there is moment where Juno tells her she should be grateful that she’s not pregnant, and Jennifer has this look on her face that perfectly captures her trying to hide the hurt, and I think she just got it exactly right.
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My mom gave me $500 in fun money for Christmas today– no saving or bill paying allowed. I may need some tops for my new job since I have been wearing suits for the past four years and I think the new place is more casual, but I don’t want to spend a lot on clothes given plans for near future. I’d kind of like the iTouch, but then again, don’t really need yet another device and am not sure that would be great for the gym anyway. I have also been hankering after a TiVo because the cable company’s DVR is kind of crap in comparison, from a usability standpoint. What would you do with it?
This weekend, Gatito and a 3.5 year old friend were tossing a ball back and forth. Neither of them could catch, so they spent the whole time cheerfully announcing, “I missed!” Later, they were in Gatito’s bedroom and Gatito kept asking, “You okay?” And the friend replied, “Ummm… yeah!” And then Gatito: “You fine?” And his friend, “Ummmm… yeah!” Rinse and repeat 100 times. The friend never seemed to get annoyed, luckily, and I thought it was hilarious. Later, they made funny noises and made each other laugh over dinner, which was just about the cutest thing ever. I love love love seeing him interact with other small children.
A farted in the car yesterday and we heard this giggle come from the back seat. Not positive why he was giggling, we asked. He spent the rest of the ride home singing, “Daddy farts everything!” Then, when I passed a bit of feminine gas today, he tried to check my pants for poop! Fair’s fair, I guess, since I do that to him all the time.
I’ve been dealing with an interesting challenge lately. Gatito is very verbal for his age, particularly for a boy. He has spoken in full sentences for months and has an extensive vocabulary. He knows all his letters, numbers, shapes, colors, animals, car brands. (“This is a Porsche car, Mommy!”) I recently taught him what a “doppelganger” was. (Don’t ask.) He sings along with the Beatles.
Actually, I have no idea if this makes him advanced, since one of the things about being a working mom is that I don’t get to see other kids his age very often. But everywhere we go, it seems people are telling me, “He’s so smart” or “He’s really verbal” or “Wow! He’s only two?”
I’m used to him getting attention for his height and his red hair, and I’ve learned to deal with this:
Yes, he’s very tall.
He gets his hair from the Irish side of the family.
What I have been struggling with is how to deal with the comments on his intelligence. I don’t love that they happen in his earshot, but I figure there isn’t much I can do to prevent people from saying what they’re going to say. But I don’t know how to respond without seeming like I’m bragging, insulting the other person’s child, or putting my own child down.
One instinct is to try to kind of even things out by pointing out his “flaws”, e.g., he’s very verbal but he’s less advanced physically. “In fact,” I found myself telling one friend, “he won’t slide down the slides at the playground.” Not very nice or fair to Gatito.
Or I’ll talk about how being developmentally advanced has nothing to do with actual intelligence, a fact that I believe is fascinating and true, but again isn’t that nice to Gatito.
Another option is to say something like, “Oh, we’ve been singing the ABC’s as a lullaby before bed,” of “We count his fingers every time his arms go through the sleeves to make sure they’re still there.” But those things probably have little to do with his current abilities and could make another parent feel badly, like they aren’t doing enough. I once mentioned to a woman with 8-month-old twins that Gatito had gotten a late start talking (in the context of recommending signing) and she assured me that her kids would be early talkers since she talked to them all the time. I was like, “Are you implying that I didn’t talk to my kid?!”
The only thing I can come up with is, if the other child is present, to compliment something about them. But if I don’t know the kid or he’s just sitting in the grocery cart or the kid isn’t there, I’m at a loss.
My mom recommended a modest “thank you”, and I thought that was a good idea. Simple. But I’ve tried it out a few times recently, and it doesn’t feel right. I still feel like it comes off as obnoxious. Like by accepting, rather than deflecting the compliment, I am somehow bragging about my child’s genius.
Do you get this with your child? Do you say it to other people? How do you respond, or what do you think would be the appropriate way for someone else to respond?
On second thought, the story about the nurse screaming at the woman that she had an STD did not come out as funny as it was in person. I’m thinking it came out more… insensitive. But at the time, sitting in my paper gown in the exam room and listening to this going on outside my door, it was so absurd as to be funny. (Not funny that she had an STD, of course, but that she thought it was a good idea to call the GYN from the car wash, and that the nurse was so flustered as to try to speak up to be heard, rather than tell her to call back.) And, apparently, the memory was enough to get the doctor and me going again several years later. But I can definitely see how this could make me seem bitchy.
Apparently I have atypical cells, but am HPV negative. The nurse assures me this is nothing to worry about, that I just need to come back in three months to test again, and that I don’t need to wait to try to conceive. I have a good guess, based on that article, that it was a result of being at the very end of my period, when I was down to a few spots. But I’ll be damned if I’ll let this hang over my head for three months! Waiting to hear back from the doctor. It seems like it would make sense to test again mid-cycle (now), yes?
Shared experiences/advice welcome. I don’t want to blow this out of proportion but hell, it’s what I do!
Updated: Talked to Dr. Nice and he said I can come back in a month for the follow-up. (Oh good! I already have to miss work right when I start my new job!) And I guess I’ll try to forget about it until then.
But this reminded me of a funny story. Once, I was waiting in the exam room when the nurse got a return call from one of her patients. She was trying to give her the results of some test, but the woman had apparently called from the car wash and couldn’t hear very well, so the nurse ended up shouting, repeatedly, “You have a sexually transmitted disease!” I reminded the doctor about that just now and we had a good laugh.
The whole idea that I am leaving my job is starting to really sink in, and I’m getting more and more comfortable with it. It’s kind of nice sitting in meetings and thinking that I won’t have to actually deal with this problem or that. Not that there won’t be problems at the next job, of course, but it won’t be these particular problems.
Of course, it’s kind of strange to start a new job right before I’d like to get pregnant, but I figure people do that all the time. I am just hoping that I feel well enough to work hard straight through, and I’m planning to come back and work there for a long time after a maternity leave. We will push the IUI off from February to April to give me a few months to focus, and of course there’s no telling if and when I’ll get and stay pregnant. May the worst problem I have be to get pregnant right after starting the new job!
If I don’t have cervical cancer, that is. UGH! I had a pap smear a couple of weeks ago and I came home today to a voicemail from the doctor’s office. I realized I hadn’t gotten that little envelope back with my results that say it’s all okay. The nurse said it is nothing to worry about, she just had some information for me, but my mind has already gone through to, 1) so much for having a second child; 2) oh shit! I’m kind of unemployed for a few weeks and I’m sure I’m not eligible for disability in the new job; and 3) I could die. Sigh. It’s gonna be a long night.
A few days ago, Gatito was in his room and we heard some general grumbling and complaining. A called up to ask what was going on and he replied, “I’m! Cleaning! Up!” A turned to me and said, “Jeez, these terrible twos are really awful, aren’t they?”
I realize he’s only just two and there’s plenty of time for all hell to break loose, but man, I really think we have an awesome kid. No tantrums yet to date. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t get frustrated and kick and scream sometimes, but it never lasts more than a minute and I definitely haven’t seen any of that lying down on the floor kicking and screaming stuff, which is lucky, since I don’t have the slightest idea how I’d deal with that.
He recognizes all of his letters and is starting to get the concept that they spell words. For a while he’d been saying “G-A-T-I-T-O spells… taxi!” I found this highly amusing, but he’s already figured out that it actually spells his name. The grow up so fast, man!
He insisted on carrying around the box of Chanukah candles a couple of weeks ago, and then started begging, “the red one! the red one! the red one!” So we took it out and gave it to him, and he promptly took a bite. (Candles, candy, I get the confusion.) He wasn’t that quick on the draw, though: after the red candle was a failure, he begged, “the blue one! the blue one! the blue one!”
Ever since his birthday, he and my younger nephew, who is 4.5, have been getting along great. At his birthday party, Thanksgiving, and our family Chanukah celebration, the two of them went off and played together, sometimes loud games and sometimes quiet. My nephew taught Gatito to run around singing, “I am a monster– with a horn!” before throwing himself onto the couch. Gatito followed my nephew around and by the end of Thanksgiving, my nephew realized gleefully, “I can make him do whatever I want!” (We’re totally in trouble now, aren’t we?) Even still, t’s a complete joy to see them together.
Life is good.
