I posted for a nanny on Craig’s List. I said I wanted someone loving and reliable, full-time, with a car, references, and preferably a native Spanish speaker. So far I’ve gotten:
- A Spanish-speaking woman who disappeared when I asked for her references
- A Polish woman available after 3:00 pm weekdays
- A woman who wanted to know how far I was from the train station, since she doesn’t have a car
So I joined eNannySource, which is sort of like JDate, and I’ve always been curious about online dating, since it didn’t exist back in the Dark Ages of the Last Century, when A and I met. And it is kind of cool, like shopping for your specific characteristics, just like I always imagined. But, in the end, it’s a lot like dating, in that I’m scared out of my wits. (Actually, I don’t remember being scared like this when I was dating.)
The minute someone promising emails and says they are interested, I go all cold and freaky and I don’t want to talk to them. Maybe I am making a mistake. I really like L and she’s really great with Gatito. I think she loves him. She said yesterday that she used to feel this hole in her heart because she wanted another baby (her son is 6 and she used to take care of older kids), but that Gatito has filled that hole. She’s so creative in how she plays with him and we’ve worked out a lot of the kinks already. She knows how I like the bottles to go into the dishwasher. She changed her soap for me! She organizes my food cabinet from salty to sweet.
Her life is one catastrophe after another, but I do have a flexible job that can acommodate this kind of craziness, even though it does cause me a lot of stress. And one thing is that if I tell her I have an important meeting and/or I have to go into the office, she does always show up, and on time, too. (Which is a little aggravating because shouldn’t she show up on time even if I’m sitting on the couch eating bonbons?) But what if this last one is the last catastrophe and everything will be better now?
So now what I am thinking is that I will meet a couple of the candidates and see how I feel. I think that my reaction to other potential nannies might help me figure out if I’m ready to make the leap or not.
The other day, A actually asked if I wanted to stay home with Gatito. Which is amazing, because he has never wanted that in the past. And a huge part of me does– I don’t know if I would like it, now that I’ve gotten used to the current situation, but I feel really sure that it would be great for his stimulation and continued development. But it doesn’t matter because it’s not an option financially. And what kind of idiot would give up a flexible work situation where she works good hours four days, from home, for a boss that loves her, a decent salary, and work that is finally getting interesting?
eNanny… bookmarked thanks. Good luck I hope that the current woman just works out without further drama.
Is there a babysitting system like eNanny?
Oh hell. Somewhere in there, you know what you want to do.
I would give up all those things for 3 years, to get Mimi to preschool, if we were not in the red. It’s only 3 years. But then there’s the career stuff. So hard.
How much does L’s flakiness really bother you. Like bother you personally, not like how much it SHOULD bother you, you know? Because if you feel like you SHOULD be able to really count on her, and you know you can’t, but it’s just one of those things, then don’t rock the boat. At least, don’t rock it now. I think it will be REALLY irritating, and you’ll just not be able to take it anymore. If you aren’t there yet, and you’re not sure, you can just wait until your feelings are strong enough not to question it. You know? Follow your true heart.
We have this wonderful regional listserve here of families. Craigslist here is a scary place, where the nannies are always saying nasty things about people who tell them not to let kids watch tv.
When we move, if it’s to a city that has craigslist, I might try to start my own regional listserve.
Seriously, it’s wonderful. There are like 4000 members, and between them, there are nanny referrals, housing, doctors, acupuncturists, carpenters, etc. It’s a Godsend.
I know friends that have tried to find a nanny through Craigslist and it never worked out … too many freaks.
Have you at all worked the nanny grapevine? I’m sure you have but I found my 2nd nanny this way and the connection was not even that close — she was the occasional babysitter of the sister of someone that I meet for playdates.
Re: finding a new person or not … it is hard to say. But to me, you shouldn’t HAVE to put up with the unreliability. I know you feel bad b/c it isn’t necessarily her fault, but you have a FULL TIME JOB and you need accordingly dependable childcare.
I don’t think the car issue re: getting Gatito out more would be a deal breaker with me if she was super-reliable, but you do really seem irked by the fact that you can’t really count on her. That doesn’t mean she isn’t a nice person or doesn’t love Gatito.
Good luck — I really think interviewing some candidates is a good choice.
Having met my husband on Match.com (yup, seriously), I can tell you that you have to go through a whole lotta duds before you strike gold. I’ve met some reeeeeeeal interesting people. I’m sure it’s similar to your experience with nannies on Craiglist.
My situation is similar to yours (except for the fact that my job is not as interesting). I think that it’s the absolute best of all worlds. You just need someone that you can rely on. Do you think that you could talk to L. about it again? Let her know what you’re thinking? It sounds like she’d be willing to really try to make it work.
We have a nursing agency watch baby N and I adore his nurse, but when she cannot make it, they will call me 20 min before she is supposed to come to work and not have a replacement.
I would like to switch agencies, but I love our nurse(and hoping if it causese enough problems I can be a stay at home mom)!