A while back I wrote about problems with L’s reliability. We did have a talk back then, but how can she really help the chaos that is her life? Last month there were two sick days, then we were on vacation. We came back Sunday, but since we weren’t going back to work until Wednesday, gave her Tuesday off to be with her mom who was having surgery. Now her mom is having complications, so she took yesterday off as well. She’s back today, but on the way she had a car accident and can no longer open the driver’s side door of her car.
She is averaging about two unplanned absences every month. That’s a lot, right? I’m not imagining that that’s a lot? And every time, I’m scrambling*, begging my mom to help, doing my work at night and during naps, driving him to my sister’s so her nanny can watch him for a couple of hours. My boss is nice and all, but in the end, she doesn’t really care if my nanny’s mother is in the hospital, you know? Not when there’s always something new.
I like L as a person and I can tell that she cares for Gatito and that he likes her. (However, he was just fine with my sister’s nanny yesterday.) I trust her completely with him. Not to mention that most of the absences are not her "fault". (But don’t get me started on the lateness– one can’t use traffic as an excuse every day.)
But my mother says that I have to know when to hold and when to fold. I feel sick about it, but it’s time to start looking for a replacement, isn’t it?
*The fact that 90% of the time, I’m the one scrambling, not A, despite the fact that we both work full time and earn similar salaries, is a topic for another post. I’m working up the nerve on that one.
i hate to say it, but it is time for reliable child care. your boss may be nice, but there may come a point where it’s your job on the line.
That really sucks. If you’re not entirely ready to fold with L., can you see if there are any back up child care places nearby you could use in a pinch?
I would make the change now while Gatito is still flexible. We employ a nanny as well & have for the last four months. She has only used ONE sick day in this time – and that was from an evil illness that one of our kids gave her. She’s always on time – never late – and has been flexible for us.
I think that employing a nanny can be tricky but the solution is to treat her as an employee (for both her protection and your’s). If you had a colleague who exhibited these patterns would you expect her to be let go? Put “on notice”?
Yes. But you’re not *really* asking us.:)
It’s hard doing something that’s like kicking someone when they’re down, but you know when it’s time to make a change. I have no advice. I know nothing about nannies. I would be sure first that you can find someone you like as much as her.
There are these two awful nannies here I see at the park every day, all day, talking on their phones and to each other with the babies, 5 & 7 months, in their strollers all day! For months now! They get bottles there, they eat there… I see the nannies at the grocery store doing their shopping… They sit at the park and watch Mimi in the swing. I bet they only get changed once or twice/day. It breaks my heart. I kind of want to say something to the parents, and I think I know who they are, but I don’t want to overstep.
I’m not saying this to be a bitch, or to scare you, because you’re home all day and you know what’s going on. But L is wonderful, right? Make sure you find someone else wonderful before you let her go.
Um, yes. I thought so last time you blogged about this. This is not reliable childcare.
Not to mention that L doesn’t have a reliable car for getting out with Gatito. I don’t live walking distance to much and with the 2 nannies we’ve had, I’ve made sure they have a reliable enough car that they can drive short distances with the baby to get out. All day, every day in the house with a one year old isn’t good for the baby or the nanny. I know I would go crazy if I had to do it! If you make a change, get someone with a car (you can check their insurance and DMV record, etc) that can drive Gatito to the park etc. Maybe even to the grocery store to do some shopping for you! One less chore for you to do on the weekends.
I changed nannies and until I did, had no idea how much better things could be…I was so reluctant to let the old one go because we were used to her and comfortable. The new nanny is younger yet more mature; she’s never called out sick or been late and even cleans (though I’ve never asked her to). We’re so impressed we’ve given her a raise. Monkey seems to like her just as much if not a little more than the old one – he’s even cried a few times watching her leave at the end of the day. I never thought we’d find someone as good as the first nanny; as it turns out we found someone totally better. I say start looking/interviewing now, before you wind up in a crisis situation with her. You can always keep her as a backup.
As for the you always being the one scrambling… While I appreciate your desire for assistance from your husband here, it seems that employers tend to be much more forgiving when women need time for child care related issues than men. Sucks, eh?
YES. And you really should do it now before he gets any older.
I know it sucks, but it will be worse later.
I can totally relate. The same thing has happened to us, and I feel so much better about getting a new one. It feels a lot better than I though it would. Good luck!