Going for my blood test in a few. Filled with fear. Yesterday, I started to feel more confident at the arrival of a new pregnancy symptom: I felt lightheaded and drunk for much of the day. As I’ve said before, maintenance of existing pregnancy symptoms is meaningless, but the arrival of a new one did give me hope. But this morning, I feel like my breasts are less sore when I poke at them. I know, I know, it’s subjective… I’m a little nauseated but I suspect that’s just from the hysteria.
Am I wrong in thinking that even a high beta would not be definitive? Because couldn’t it have been doubling along nicely until a couple of days ago and then slowed down or stopped or reversed course, but, when averaged out over the full seven days still look adequate?
I cried when A left today to visit his parents. He’s coming back tomorrow and he promised he’d come back tonight if there is bad news, but he’ll be a few hours away and it’s snowing for a change. I feel alone and scared.
***
Update:
It’s all good. Numbers high enough to leave nothing to doubt, even for the likes of me. hCG was 5412. That’s a doubling time of about 40 hours. It’s also about twice as high as my calculations of where it should be, which just shows you how unreliable my math skills are. My progesterone was 55.4, so um, anyone know if that can get too high? Should I push to speak to the doctor about re-evaluating my dosage?
The only minorly bad news: Thought I would have my first ultrasound at 7 weeks on March 25, but Dr. Nice is out the whole week. They tried to schedule it for, gasp, April 1, but I was having none of it, so am seeing Dr. Gruff instead on March 23. My interactions with this guy have been limited to when he’s been on call and he’s done a good job of making me feel stupid, but my sister says he’s a good doctor. Oh and I’ve got the April 1 appointment with Dr. Nice as well. Neither of which are at a time that will be convenient for poor A to join me– his job has a long commute– so I forsee him having to spill the beans to his boss soon as well.
So now: Clearly it is not healthy for me to keep creating these panic attacks. I am welcoming any advice on how to calm the hell down. Please nothing god-related, but maybe some meditation techniques or something?
Whew. I’m all sweaty.
So sorry A had to go away. I know how scary it is to go through these things by yourself. When I had the spotting I had to go to the doc by myself, Frank just couldn’t be there…and I made him promise that if it was bad news and I called he would come pick me up because I knew I wouldn’t be able to drive.
I am wishing you only POSITIVE, happy news today. And I am here if you need me!
So sorry A had to go away. I know how scary it is to go through these things by yourself. When I had the spotting I had to go to the doc by myself, Frank just couldn’t be there…and I made him promise that if it was bad news and I called he would come pick me up because I knew I wouldn’t be able to drive.
I am wishing you only POSITIVE, happy news today. And I am here if you need me!
Cat – I’m here too. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do. I’m thinking of you and hoping that all stays well.
Count me in as here too! So sorry you’re feeling so scared and that you’re alone. I just have a feeling that all is well, you’l have good news, I just know it.
Anxiously awaited an update……
Count me in as here too! So sorry you’re feeling so scared and that you’re alone. I just have a feeling that all is well, you’l have good news, I just know it.
Anxiously awaited an update……
Count me in as here too! So sorry you’re feeling so scared and that you’re alone. I just have a feeling that all is well, you’l have good news, I just know it.
Anxiously awaited an update……
It’s starting to get crowded, but I’m here too!
I’m here for you too. You’re right- a high beta is not a guarantee. But then again- nothing is. So take it as a good sign and relax for a little bit because I KNOW you’re going to get a beautiful number today!
Fucking miscarriages!!! They just continue to terrorize us way after the fact. Our own personal terrorist. The symptoms came and went for me. The only thing constant was being tired. Looks like you have a nice little rooting section here.
delurking to say.. ahhhhhh… ok, i finally exhaled. i have been holding my breath all day waiting for you to post an update. i am relieved and very happy (for you) to know that your numbers are so good… now back to lurkdome
Well, from everything I’ve read, your feelings are perfectly normal. I guess that doesn’t help at all. Have you read “Trying Again?” But this news seems really really good. I guess my only advice is to try and take one day at a time.
Well, from everything I’ve read, your feelings are perfectly normal. I guess that doesn’t help at all. Have you read “Trying Again?” But this news seems really really good. I guess my only advice is to try and take one day at a time.
Best way to deal with panic attacks? Hmm, if someone lets you know one, would you share with me, since I’m still having them, and I’m at 30 weeks and some days.
So glad to get to read the update! Damn the time difference!! Number looks beautiful!! Whoo hoo!!
I think the _only_ thing that got me through the first 10 weeks were Bach’s Rescue Remedy. Worked a charm for me. Also, maybe some homeopathic remedies or a nice ‘sleepy’ tea or something? I wasn’t allowed near anything stronger and my midwife supported both those suggestions.
Wishing you less panic and more beautiful results! Come on the 23rd!!
So glad to get to read the update! Damn the time difference!! Number looks beautiful!! Whoo hoo!!
I think the _only_ thing that got me through the first 10 weeks were Bach’s Rescue Remedy. Worked a charm for me. Also, maybe some homeopathic remedies or a nice ‘sleepy’ tea or something? I wasn’t allowed near anything stronger and my midwife supported both those suggestions.
Wishing you less panic and more beautiful results! Come on the 23rd!!
Yippee!! This one isn’t going anywhere!! I don’t think your progesterone can get too high. Once I had an 88 reading and was told that it was great. But don’t freak should your progesterone fluctuate. As long as it stays above 20 you are good. Mine fluctuated…40, then up to 88, then down to 40…I freaked and called the doctor and he said not to worry, my body was just adjusting. It leveled off at around 40. Only 2 weeks to u/s!!! So happy all is going well.
“You cannot have TOO high a progesterone.” – My RE.
That’s what I was told one month when my P4 was 109. So no sweat. Your numbers are bitchin’ cool. WOOHOO! I hope the next 2 weeks fly by. We should all chip in and hire a juggler or something to keep your mind occupied.
So glad numbers are looking good and you are getting the care you deserve.
As for relaxation, I am all about the soft music, dimly-lit room, and a foot-rub. If the foot-rub is out, then maybe just prop them up and kind of “fall into” the music. I think for me personally I am always so focused on the hectic things that unless I FOCUS on what the music is, I won’t relax. Does that make sense?
Favorite choices: Music for Airports (you can download online, I am unsure of the artist/composer. It is (surpisingly enough) from 9 1/2 Weeks, the movie.)
Also, I dig: Clannad (I believe they are Gaelic, but I could be wrong there)
Congrats on the lovely beta #! And good for you for getting that u/s scheduled, even if it is with Dr. Gruff…hopefully he won’t be so gruff this time around.
Congrats on the lovely beta #! And good for you for getting that u/s scheduled, even if it is with Dr. Gruff…hopefully he won’t be so gruff this time around.