Is it bad that when someone I was casually friends with in grad
school but haven’t spoken to in the nearly 2 years since graduation emailed news of the
birth of her daughter, I emailed back news of my miscarriage and the
lack of clarity around whether or not it’s likely to happen again, just
before cheerily wishing her congratulations?
It’s one thing to hear it from friends but come on, don’t contact me 2 years later to share your oh so fab news. Either keep in touch in the first place or don’t. Or get back in touch because you’re thinking about me, not because you want to tell me about you.
So much for my perspective. I can only assume that the fact that it comes and goes in very short spaces of time is normal?
Oh and in case you were wondering… she didn’t write back.
Nope. Not bad. Just real. A real friend would never just drop out of nowhere to send an “all about me” email. My sense of perspective is all over the map. I gotta think it’s nomal, at least for our abnormal circumstances.
HA!! That’s not bad, that’s damn good.
Good for you.
I’ve done the same, in the exact same situation.
I realized from reading your other message that I lost my sense of perspective a long time ago, never mind about coming and going!
I think that you did the absolute right thing. It’s so cool when you can come out of the infertility bubble and just be real.
You did the right thing! I have had a number of friends write or call after long periods of no contact, just to tell me all about themselves, and when I reciprocate and confide a bit of what’s going on in my life, they never call or write again! These are the fair weather friends. They don’t want any mess or any downers. Good riddance, I say.
I don’t like those surprise birth announcements or those too-happy holiday (brag) letters. Both are all about the person sending them (I guess, by definition), but why not contact me before then? I always assume that their life has been dripping with mediocrity and they can only bring themselves to contact me once something good has happened–just a theory…