I haven’t mentioned, but my sister has been my savior through all of this. She too has this ANA thing that might mean something and might not. She had 2 miscarriages and then had her 2 boys. She really understands everything I’m going through. I feel sad that I wasn’t able to be there for her 6 years ago. I was there, but I was no help because I hadn’t been through it, was 5 years younger and not even thinking about going through it. But I’m grateful to her for being there for me now.
So last night we are chatting (on IM, which is unusual for us), and she mentions that she’s been having hot flashes for a year and recently they’re much worse. "I think I’m going through menopause," she types. What?! She is only 34. My mom was 40 when she missed her first period so J and i grew up knowing we did not have forever, but 34?! It was hard to tell because it was IM, but she said she wasn’t concerned. But I know she sometimes still talks about trying for a girl, so she must be. And it’s something else I cannot help her with, cannot relate to.
And can I be selfish for a second? It kind of makes me feel like I have less time than I thought I did… I’m only 29 so I figured lots of time to work through this whole baby thing and maybe if it’s not too traumatic an experience and we have enough money to have 2… but what if I’m having hot flashes in 5 years, too?
